What You Regain

Hi there my friend,

In light of the conversations we’ve been having regarding cultish, toxic and unhealthy communities (specially church community) it’s challenging to speak out on such topics because many aren’t ready to see what is going in the place that should be the holiest and safest. There’s a fear of getting push back from these communities that do no want to face a reality that can get fixed as soon their face turns toward the problems instead of away from the problem.

When will things change? When can we mature? When can we step up to the plate and fix these toxic problems? When will we accept that we need help? When will we stop acting like we don’t need a Savior any more? We all need the help. And the help is there! It’s a matter of humbling ourselves and reaching out to our Savior’s hand, time and time again. He’s willing. 

Many have been on the verge of saying “enough is enough!” but aren’t convinced enough to leave these cultish and toxic places or relationships because the question is “what’s on the other side?” “All I’ve known is this” “God hasn’t really told me to leave”. These toxic environments have downed the people’s resilience that God instilled in us. Humans are resilient! But such cultish toxic places  have convinced and persuaded people to adopt the belief system that they cannot do life without these environments. 

Comfort and false successes they see in these communities have bewitched them to become complacent to the point that anything “hard” or any “opposition” cannot be God’s will. “So it’s wise to stay here” in misery because it’ll be hard when you leave. 

What is true is that it’s not easy. What’s also true is that there is a HIGHER cost watching your life, your essence, your purpose, your identity get stripped from you to become nothing but a slave. That’s what cults and toxic places do. They rob you from who you really are till you get lost and don’t even recognize yourself nor your voice any more. 

That was me. That was my husband. That was my brother. That was many that I know and others that have come out from such places. 

In my previous blog, I shared on what you can expect to experience when you leave. All that was mentioned takes hard work. It takes digging in. It takes facing the worst parts of you. But the best thing from all that is  watching JESUS come in those moments! 

“Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”- John‬ ‭8‬:‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Whether God uses people or no human intervention to get to you and do the profile surgery it’s all beautiful! Healing is beautiful! Walking in light is beautiful! 

I can tell you from personal testimony THE GRASS IS GREENER! There IS more on the other side. I was broken, lost in words, purposeless, felt guilty for leading others wrongfully without knowing, bound, scared but the Light came and pierced through all darkness and shadows that clothed me and clouded my mind. 

I want to give you some insight on 

10 What You Can Expect to Regain When You Leave:

1. FREEDOM. There’s a sense of freedom that comes over you. God and you will manage your life from here on out. There’s the tension between what’s familiar (the old ways) and what’s unknown that you may battle. But that’s cause you may not be familiar with freedom. I had to heal my inner clock to slow down and not be in such rush. There’s freedom in your time. To travel, to go to the movies, to attend birthdays, to go back to school or finish projects. You get your life back! 
2. Family & friends or new friends. This one was a big one for me personally. My family were raised to be close. Years I’d miss important dates to do “church activities”. I lost quality time with my family. God gave me back my family. Or better to say, they got me back. I was able to engage with old friends and show Christ. As before they wouldn’t be worthy of my time cause they would never be potential disciples. I’ve made new friends. Different conversations that are edifying and have a great time.
3. Identity. One of the things that gets stripped subtly from you being in a cult is your identity. Your essence. But what you regain your identity and with much vigor! This part takes time to recognize. This goes hand in hand with healing internally. Little by little you regain your voice. You end up appreciating your authenticity. You grown confidence and boldness in Christ. What you were once afraid of you have this zeal to stand up to it. And you won’t be easily swayed again. 
4. Critical thinking. When being in a cult or toxic place you slowly begin to adopt the environments way of thinking. Which leads to not being able to have your own thoughts but having to be “in the spirit” (which this translates to thinking how they think and acting how they act) or becoming “one” with these places. Your critical thinking shuts down because it’s not put in use properly. When you leave these places you regain and get opportunity to think for yourself. Learn how to make life decisions. This helps boost your identity and confidence. It kicks self-doubt in the butt. 
5. Purpose. This is a big one for many. In cults your talents, gifts, youth, strength, energy is used and abused for someone else’s purpose. When you leave you feel depleted and believe there’s nothing else to give. Because you end up basing your life and identity to a cause. But when you leave you find out what God made you out of! Full of purpose! Full of life! He’s not done with you! 
6. Creativity. As mentioned in with critical thinking and purpose you may have become burnt out. Creativity takes time to come to it but it’ll come when your time is freed up. When you’re in a relaxed state. Going out meeting new people or places definitely helps to get the juices flowing. You realize that you can problem solve, create a business, be a home maker creatively. Find creative ways to be with your family and build memories. 
7. Dreams. After letting go of other people’s dreams and their personal ambitions, which they sucked you in to believe that it is the only thing that matters, you begin to heal. This is where your own dreams start coming in! I’ve known people who have left college or not even finish their high school to do someone else’s will. Now they are dreaming again to pursue that which God put in their heart to fulfill. You begin to pick your passions that were once locked away. You come to find out your drive.
8. Health. Mental, emotional, spiritual and physical healing. This one is work but the reward is glorious. You start becoming the best version of you. Your mental state starts to heal. Your emotions can start to abandon the survival mode and actually break the ice that has numbed your heart to then have God truly do the healing. Your spirit longs for Truth. It longs for Jesus. Physically it has happened to many that weird body symptoms no longer exist. 
9. Joy. This word will have a different definition in your life and you’ll experience this in different stages in your healing process. It may not be big all the time but it seeps in and you won’t forget it. Your body will remember it and won’t want to go back from it. 
10. The Real Jesus. Oh this one! This one is the most rewarding. Here is where true freedom is. Here is where you can love again unashamedly. Here is where you are accepted and encouraged. Here is where you can actually understand His goodness. Here is where you can heal and move forward. Knowing the real Jesus. The foundation of your faith get strong here. You start to realize what it means to have an immovable faith. Cause you will experience that THERE IS NO OTHER LIKE HIM.  “…yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”- ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭20‬-‭21‬

“Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”- Psalms‬ ‭73‬:‭25‬-‭26‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My heart rejoices this very moment reading that scripture! My hands are high and lifted to the One. My One. My Only One! Only He has the power to heal, restore, forgive and redeem! Only He can really lead still waters. Only He can lead to all truth. My life is His! He saved me! He healed me! He forgave me! He has redeemed me! He’s taught me! He’s loved me! He’s had patience with me! His mercy abounded daily. You CAN’T ever lose with Him! Not once.

Sweet friend, the 10 things I have mentioned don’t come easily. It takes intentional work. Trial and error. But there is space and time for those things in God. Pursue God. You have the right to live. Do not let fear keep you from living your life accordingly to God’s true statutes. Life in a Christ is abundant! Don’t believe the lie that if it’s hard or that if you haven’t healed by now it wasn’t from God. Things with God take time. He’s a good Father. You’ll appreciate that kind of hardship. Be patient. Give yourself grace. Remember His burden is light and His yoke is light.

I pray boldness and peace over you! 

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